graceric's Xanga

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 15:21:43 GMT

forget to put down

24th Last day at Kadoorie, Happy Worship at Church, went home and had a very good sleep
25th Walked the dogs aat Sai Kung with Sis and Bro in law plus EC, I was so tired but very happy, BBQ at Yuen Long with Limy at night
26th Rest for a whole day, tam chai with sis and then went shopping with dear Sing , assisted by super Eric Yip~! EY, you are my best info resource~!
27th First day at Soares....freaking tired ...n in pain all day....

Beautiful life- part 3 As a deer

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:29:55 GMT

Insomnia again.
Well done Grace~! You choose the right time to do this because you are having your first day at Soares Avenue Small Animal Clinic tomorrow~!

Tonight , it was not as cold.
I am just wearing a singlet with a pair of shorts.
Boring enough,I start digging out my old stuff and having my own little treasure hunt.
God really has His own plan.
I review all the large and small letters from my friends, movie tickets, concert tickets, birthday cards, christmas card, bronze medal, gold medals.
All the memories are like flash back, they all link together. They all happened with a reason.
What else did I discover?
I am rich.
These accumulated blessings over the past 23 years are so heavy and are full of memories.
Interestingly, I find out there was this person who actually discovered the "deer" side of mine since long time ago, even before Nick.
I looked at this crystal deer from Souh Africa, I asked myself, " What are you so afraid of? Why are you so flighty all the time?"
There is this little DIY cafe reminds me so much of Vincet Van gogh's Cafe at Night.
Just wanna sit quietly at the cafe by myself, read and relax.

Grace, ganbate~!

Beautiful life part two - I am a bottle of beer

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 01:55:00 GMT

The wind blows as usual.
Life goes on like normal.

I must say , I am a lucky girl.
Last night, I was not able to go home because I locked myself out~! (provided that I only have the gate key....)
Thanks for being there for me and getting the keys from my sister, EC.
To be honest, looking after me is not an easy job.
I was sick again last night, somehow, totally lost control.......
My brain likes to flash back as always...haiz...
The happier I am , the more I think it is unreal.
I am learning to enjoy all these , to learn that I "deserve" all these.
Where do all the guilty feelings come from?
To learn to be loved is not easy, yet, is essential.
The self-esteem I built while Sho gor gor was around seems fading away....
my faith, my believes,............don't go please~~~~~~~~~~!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was this facebook test that I took said I was a shot of tequila, however, I think I am more like a bottle of beer.
This bottoel off beer has to be drunk at the right temperature.
Like last time on Brighton beach, the beer taste nasty , taste like pee.
I need the right temperature to taste good.
Hongkong gave me the right temperature............
Please keep me at the right temperature~

1. Watch a play with EC at Sai Wang, someone almost fell asleep....haha
2. Thur met up with Ming, Peter, Raymond and Takyu~ haha monopoly card game is fun~!
3. Fri
4. Sat Watched Popcorn at Yuen Long theatre, great show~
5 Sun Church and then took Pepper, Casper, momo and BiBu to Tsuen Wan

The key to sucess- Beautiful life part one

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:24:18 GMT

Don't you all agree with me that God loves us?
I could feel His grace~! He wants me to grow up~!
After all the shitty things happened last year , I finally rise from death.
The time in Hong Kong, back at home, always make me realise that I am the luckiest person in the world.
I have so many good friends, supportive family and my dear dear Pepper with me.

I really enjoy my work at Kadoorie Farm because it reminds me why I picked veterinary science when I entered university.

LOVE IS ALL AROUND
Besides, winter 2009 has been the most lovely time I have ever HAD in my life, it is almost comparable to my happiest time at Secondary 5.

Thanks Whitey for bringing so much joy and fun. Seriously, you are such a good friend and I did enjoy your accompany and the time at YMCA vet seminar. You are not just good looking but also have a god heart~!

Then, we had Jimson came to Hongkong. Though I only met you for a night, that was more than enough because the quality of sharing made it memorable. Thanks for walking me home altohugh you were a tourist~!
I am so lucky to have friends like you guys in vet. Thank you so much for the support throughout the entire course~!!!

Sho gor gor has saved me form the dark. May be he is the angel sent by God.
I still have the vivid image when you gave me the 5 yen in Taiwan 10 years ago. It was amazing how we met.
Thank you for talking to me during my tough time, exams and deal with my bad mood over skype. You are truely someone I can rely on and share my tears with. Though we don;t see or talk often, I thank God for letting us meet 10 years ago. I do cherish our friendship/ brother-sister relationship. Thank you very much again for coming to Hongkong to visit me. I promise you that I will be a confident lady and be independent. You made me grow up, you taught me so much last week~! I love the time hiking at Kadoorie Farm with you~!!!!!!! I will write down my goals every day and achieve them slowly, step by step. I won;t fall any more. I will fight , like I used to be, I have my direction now and am determined to fulfil what I have planned. The golden key of sucess you have given me is amazing. It will always be in my heart and I will keep my spirit grow. I will find and choose my way because I know I can do it and I DESERVE it~! My confidence is coming back ~ huh~can I please announce it here that "I love you~!!!!" (you know this "love" clearly)

Finally,
Joy and Cary, sisters are always close to heart. babies, thank you for sharing my tears and happiness in my life. Gid really gives me a lot a lot, including you guys. I don't understand how come you guys can bear with my bad mood and stupidity, but yea, here we are, I love you two. You girls are themost beautiful women I have met. I like your smiles, your honesty, your true true lovely smiles. You know, you girls mean so much to me because you made me still believe in frienship, believe in what I used to believe in, believe in what I WANT TO believe in~!!!!!! This world is full of shit, but you give me hope and support. My life is lightened up with beautiful colours because of you~! You know, how much I miss you two when I was in Aus???? um......seeing u guys almost every day....now, I am so satified~!
ding, what to write here ho lei...........i don;t what to make u cry wor...
so...just "ng goi ga je"~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Grace is here~! NEVER STOP FIGHTING~!

P.s. Wanna say, it would be perfect if my brother is around in HK~!

Content~

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:11:12 GMT

Melbourne. I kind of miss Melbourne, surprisingly~!

Congrat to Alice~~!!! You'll always my wedding dress /dinner dress designer~! Thanks for taking me to the fashion wonderland~! Without you, I would never be so into make up and fashion~! Besides, you are such a caring friend who I will never forget. I enjoy the time staying with you at Dockland. The nice view , the comfy bed, the bed time stories and sharing time are my treasurable memories~!!!! Even though you are alone in Melbourne now, I am telling you, "a part of me will always be with you"~!

haha~ I guess a lot of you would have been wondered who Faye was in my previous posts. Here she is~!
She is my best listener and gives me lots of support and good advice. I really enjoy the time being with her at Laurent, a superb place for bakeries and pastries. I love the cakes and coffee there ~!!!! She is the kindest lady I have ever met. I wish I had a mum like her~!

~`
Time with Chi Chi was sooooo much fun~~~! We took Victoria to the airport at 6:30am....haha~then we went to Laurent for breakfast~! yea~then, Chi CHi took me to his verve Christian Dior Mega store~!!! Look at me~!!! I was like mad when I saw the whole big basket of CD products...hahaha...Mao Mao was wondering what had happened to Grace, ya? Chi Chi gave me the best summer ever in Melbourne~! He made me start liking this place. I actually find Melbourne not as boring as I thought.

Lunch with Kitty~! I was so happy to see her because we have not seen each other for ages. It was sooo good to talk to her and we had a great time. I am glad that she has finished her degree and has found her target and happiness in life. I wish I could see her more often la~~~! I love being taken care by Kit

I went for CMG script writing presentation on the Friday afternoon. It was kind of tiring. I had stomach cramp because I was too nervous and it was the first time I present my own ideas in front of a group of people. It was kind of embarrassing. But it was alright. I don;t mind if I cannot win as a lot of my friends actually like my story.
um...........dunno. I would love to write a novel based on my story. Hopefully one day it will be published~!

Yes~ it is Nick Nick~! He made me a lovely dinner before I left Melbourne. I was kind of amazed that he could cook~! Thanks for taking care of me for these two months, especially during exam period. I do not know how I am going to study over swat vac without you. I would kiss Pepper and play with her more for you~!!!!

Finally, Thank you Chi Chi and Nick Nick for taking me to the airport and helped me to take my extra stuff back home~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Home sweet home~!

1. Had my beloved Holly waiting for me at the airport for an hour.
2. Arrived home and met my dear Pepper. She almost forgot about me and could hardly recognised me~!!!!
3, Shared the beauty and love of Christian Dior from CHi Chi with my sisters
4. Had a great time with Cary and Ying Ying
5. Karaoke time....haha..I could not recognise Miss Yeung~!!!
6. Kind of sick and tired because of the bad air and jet lag
7. Had yum cha with my family.
8. Yata crazy sale
9. DInner at my brother-in-law's family
10. Shopping time and advanture with Whitey ~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11. Nice dinner with Whitey and his relatives and friends~
12. Pay a visit to see chinchilas with Whitey

I am soooooooooooooo tired now...but I feel so content~!
I really want to remember all these~! I will upload the pictures later.............

Flying home tonight

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 08:00:12 GMT

Before I got killed in the plane or having someone hi-jack on the way home,
I would love to say, I love my families and friends who have been so supportive throughout this year for me. (yea, I know I am kind of exaggerating too much....)

Yea, to be honest, I think I got a lot better this semester compared to the last one.
From the bottom of my heart, I really thank God for giving me such a supportive family and a bunch of true good friends.
I guess I am like the luckiest girl ever in this world.
Last year was a terrible year for me and now I am slowly climbing back up to the "normal".

In these three weeks, I started to like Melbourne more.
May be because of no exams. However, I guess the biggest part of the reasons is that I have super supportive Daddy and super duper good friends around me. (You all know who you are~super supportive vet friends: VIc Vic, Chi Chi, Em Em , Tien, Tracy Whitey, Joanna, Colleen, JimJim, Sandhya, Priya, Horace, En and Wendy etc. RMIT gang :Alice,Chris, Jackie and IH gang: Nick Nick, San San, Michael & Freddy, Kitty, Trinity gang: fine Art girl- Violet,Sean, Toli, hahah...Tristan, Aero ....................& Auntie FAY~!

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME SMILE ~!

I just don;t know what I can say or do to repay all of you. I NEED TO WRITE THIS NOW BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO REGRET THAT I DID NOT TELL YOU GUYS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL BEFORE I DIE IN AN AEROPLANE CRASH OR OTHER ACCIDENT.

Life is full of shit yet I really appreciate what you all have done for me. Thank God that He never forget me as His daughter.

melb holiday & Happy B day to my Daddy

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:10:34 GMT

Firstly, congratulations to my friend who is now officially called "Dr. Imai"~!!!!!!

New hair cut~ My supper hair dressor who has been dealing with my "big head with little hair" for 4 years in Melbourne. She is lovely~!

Barbeque at Sean Ma's place~!! Thank you Wendy for getting ready for the food. I was sooo happy to be the master chief~! btw, I love the pic hanging on the wall.

Brighton beach - love to see Wendy and Sean Ma. They are cute. I like to see Wendy smile. She is very sweet. Thank you ChiCho for driving again and took us to Samurai for dinner~! I love the green tea milkshake~!
D&G ??

Dinner with Victoria & Wendy- you two are so caring. I just love sharing with you two as you guys have the wisdom that I am totally lack of. I do not know how I can get through this year without you two.
You guys take turns to take care of me. It was like Wendy for first sem, Vic for the second sem.

Hot dog @ Vic market - it remains my favourite place in Melbourne but unfortunately I do not live in the city any more. I cannot shop there and cook for my dear friends. Thanks Nick Nick for bringing me back there~! I missed the oysters~! Instead, we had abalone~!

Super fresh abalone from ChiChi - 雙頭鮑~!!!! Chicho caught them during scubba diving~!!! o man... he said he actually caught bigger ones like 11cm in diameters but he ate it on the day he caught them with his friends. o man~~~ these abalones cost like 100AUS each~ yum yum~!
yum~!

St.Kilda beach -penguine, no photos at the site. The pier was so quiet and nice. I love walking around there with little penguines around.

Max Brena - chocolate souffle & hot chocolate, they are my best medication~!!!!!! I regain my conscious after having them all by myself~!

Finally but not the least, a great night with Tien ~!!!! Glad you like Xiao Long Bao~!

Dear Dou Dou, Happy Birthday~!

PIPI HUNTING & DPI BENALLA

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:59:21 GMT

Exams are finally over.
First thing first, I need to thank you CHICHO Jimmy Pan for helping me evacuate my dormitory and taking me here and there~! Hey man, "best bf" forever, I don't know how to get you a gf who can deserve you. You are just amazing~!

Had a great day with Priya , Prakash , Jimson and Jimmy. Thank you Jimmy for driving us for 6 hours to and from Venus Bay. It was awesome~~~ haha~~ I am PIPI HUNTING QUEEN, I got 2x PIPI, but Jimson got 4x PIPI........Man, it was fun~~ I loe the sun shine and the beautiful beach. It was so comfortable and care free~!
Thanks for lending me your shoulder too, Jimbo~! I hope you didn't get a sore shoulder.......It was fun to have Priya singing and organizing games through out the trip~~~!! Hhaha...I really enjoyed the road trip though I was the only one got spoiled, allowed to sleep for 2 hours to and 3 hours back from Venus Bay.... hahaha..
I am soooooo spoiled by you all.

Especially you , Jimmy Pan~!!!!! How an earth can you pack up everything in the morning by yourself and let me sleep in?~!!!!!! It was already kind enough for you to take me to Benalla and stay with me ~~~~~!!! You are such a good friend~~~!!!!!!!! OMG, u are the "best bf" ever la~!!!! man~~~ Though our workplacement was cancelled, seriously, thank you soooo much for everything that you have done. You are amazing~!!!!! It was so comfortable to be with you, CHICHO~!

omg...I am so tired now...after 3 days of "real live"~~!!!!!!
It feels like ages after exams have finished.....but it was just 3 days........It is kind of like all the stuff that I learnt during exams are fading away....Anyways, I am going home, I don;t care la, when result come out, I will think of what to do la

Can I have a break?

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:35:17 GMT

I am at the honours lab again, by myself.

Without Violet, without Nick Nick, I am kind of floating around with my pig lecture notes in hands.

Feeling depressed, upS and downS, left and right.

I fell asleep in the first paper....great~! does the medication help or is it killing me gradually? Feeling damn shit without it, I feel that I am more like an addict or a a patient.

All of a sudden, I really think that I am not suitable to be a vet.

I do not have the passion like Joanna or Colleen has.

I love animals. I tihnk they are the most adorable animals in the world.

However, I cannot see myself being a good vet for the rest of my life in the future, at least, not working in a clinic or hospital.

What am I doing in Melb? Why am I still living? living for what lei?????????????????

Feeling like shit, but still have to cope with it.

WHO CAN SAVE ME? ?????????????????????????

It was a great relief to recieve the call from my sister last night. I guess it was her happiest brithday for so many years. I really wish she can be a happy princess forever because she deserves that~!

As for myself, I am still floating in the sea looking for my direction. I am not sure what I wanna be in the future. ai....a degree, a bachelor degree from university is a ticket u need to survive in this society. Why do I wanna survive? Why must I live? living for what?

SELF-PROTECTING THEORY uhm..........."there is always some people contain certain genetic code, (DNA) which would harm you, STAY AWAY~!" What a theory~! but I like it. I used to believe that if I love everybody , everybody would love me back. And everyone can be my friends, no matter what. However, things change. There are too many complicated things and people in this world. Finally, i realise that there are always some people who can never be my friends. There are always things that are unforgettable and unbearable.

I collapsed, I cried, I fell, but I believe I will rise again. I just need time to get out from the dark, to find my way back to my white zone, only that I can survive, and be myself again. The long-lost Grace is hidden somewhere because she is scared and hurt. Once the wound heals, she will finally come back.

When an animal is in pain, she becomes agressive, this is a self-protecting mechanism.

What to do

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:37:58 GMT

I am at the honors lab now.
Feeling like shit because I study damn freaking slow.
There is too little time but too much study.
I don;t want to graduate as a quackery in the future~!!!!
I wonder why I am so greedy all the time.
I want this but I also want that. Every time I am pushing myself to a limit that I cannot even bear. What for??
Grace, what do you want????
How come I am still in a maze.
Am I just satisfied to be a vet for the rest of my life or am I going to do the things I really really want to do?

Interesting enough, I am still surviving.
Dying once makes you don't want to die twice.
It is a beautiful day today and I did enjoy the time at Violet;s room even just sleeping and studying on the same bed.
Thank God that there is someone there for me. Thanks Em n Violet~!
In these few days, I got to know more about cats husbandry, more or less because of Miko and Mao mao.
Funny enough , Miko used to hate me, now we get along well and I am kind of in love with her.
haha...I suddenly want to have a cat at home. But I guess my sister will definitely kill me because she has ailurophobia.

I miss Pepper.
ha~ just one month left though. I have bought the tickets today and am flying home on the 28th NOV~! yea~
I wanna hug Pepper to sleep.
Really miss my Pepper. ~ Peppeprperpeprperperperpeprererer